HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Happy Halloween all of you! I'm taking today off in celebration.

When I was a little girl, my grandmother loved to tease us by scaring us. She would put a sheet over her entire body including her head and sit out on the porch not saying anything. It was CREEPY! Our mothers used to get mad at her for all the tricks she played on us. I have inherited this sadistic habit and am liable to get behind a door, etc. and jump out and scream BOO at you.

So LOOK OUT today! I am lurking about.......Seriously, everyone have a safe and Happy Halloween!

Going En Pointe and Girl Scouts

After writing about my "boy" Walt, I have to write about another watershed event that happened this week. (Which is most likely why I am lazing about this weekend) Did I mention that I have been serving off and on for a few years as a Girl Scout Leader? You realize of course that you don't HAVE to be a mother to be a leader. The Girl Scouts are so desperate for decent women to lead that they will accept women's references who check out (like mine) who can't and won't camp. Yes, yes, I know. It is probably un-American. I hate camping. Plus I am put-together things challenged. I volunteered under the condition that I ended up with a non tomboy, camping out hating bunch of Daisies/Brownies/Girl Scouts. Well......hooah......there was such a troop.

I've watched my girls grow through the ranks learning culture, sleepovers (in a Winnebago-ish setting), cooking, community service, etc. All of my girls are darling, but there is a pretty special one - Belle. She is the same age as the rest of the girls - yet very innocent, sweet and joyful. She has attached herself to me like a sweet piece of saltwater taffy.

Turns out Miss Belle's first love is the ballet. She's been taking ballet since she was 4 and now she's 12. She works very very hard. Unfortunately, I don't know much about ballet at all and even the French I remember from high school and college flies out the window when she talks about positions.

At any rate, she saw me this week and showed me a special letter from the head of her ballet school. She was "advanced" and invited to go "en pointe"( i.e. dance on toe shoes). She was quite exhilarated. She was a bit down because her mother works quite alot and she wanted to get her shoes. She asked me if I might be able to take her. I checked with her mom, said I'd take pictures, and so I picked her up Friday after school and off we went in search of the perfect fit. I was quite nervous. Thank God the ballet place they sent us had experts. They warned me that it might take an hour to find the right shoes. I've never seen so many shoes that looked so different and yet were the same color and the same thing! I took pictures of her standing in assorted shoes. I was a tiny bit ......distracted.....until I looked up into her eyes as she went up in THE shoes....right on her toes. Her face was awash in total joy. She was beaming. I think I captured it with my camera but it was like something from a movie. It was almost as though light was emanating around and through her. We got her shoes and all the necessary things to go with them.....it was a windfall for me to get to be there on her special day.

The Sneeze- Sign of a Windfall? God Bless You

Being a serial sneezer, I wondered how saying "God bless you" became associated as an immediate response to a sneeze. Here are a few of the reasons I found in my investigation:

(1) When someone sneezes his heart stops and saying "God bless you" means "I'm glad your heart started again." (your heart doesn't stop)

(2) Saying "God bless you" when you sneeze keeps the devil from flying down your throat. When someone sneezes, say "God bless you and may the devil miss you." (the devil flying down your throat? I don't think so...)

The actual custom of saying "God bless you" after a sneeze was begun literally as a blessing. Pope Gregory the Great ascended to the Papacy coinciding with the start of the plague. Gregory called for litanies, processions and unceasing prayer for God's help and intercession. Columns marched through the streets chanting, "Kyrie Eleison" (Greek for "Lord have mercy"). When someone sneezed, they were immediately blessed ("God bless you!") in the hope that they would not succumb to the plague. Something worked as the plague did diminish.

There are many superstitions regarding sneezing: Sneeze on Monday for health, Sneeze on Tuesday for wealth, Sneeze on Wednesday for a letter, Sneeze on Thursday for something better, Sneeze on Friday for sorrow, Sneeze on Saturday, see your sweetheart tomorrow, Sneeze on Sunday, safety seek.

And lastly, a sneeze before breakfast is a sign that you will hear exciting news before the end of the day.

I've been trying to think - did I sneeze on a Tuesday? Or was it Thursday? Here's a sneeze and God Bless You (even if you didn't sneeze!)

The Measure of a Man

Two days I have posted about my special guy, Walt. (I haven't figured out to put links in here yet or I would provide them.) Anyhow, he is a very dedicated Cross Country runner; and yesterday, he was running in the Regional Meet. He invited me to come watch him, and so I decided to go. He had called me and told me he had been sick with a weird virus that gave him awful headaches and nausea. It crossed my mind more than once that he would not run. The meet was more than an hour away, but I decided make the trip anyway as it was a beautiful afternoon. When I arrived, I saw him almost immediately. I asked him how he was feeling and he said, "Not so good, but I'm running anyway." I felt pretty apprehensive.

Have you ever tried to follow a cross country meet? Where on earth do you stand? I wanted to see the start, so I got a little ways down the course. He got a really good start, and then I just followed the crowd zipping across to another trail. By the time, the crowd had moved about 400 yards, the first runners were heading that way. I saw Walt in the top 20 or so. People clapped and screamed for their guys so I figured that was how it was done. I yelled really loud for Walt. (I hoped I hadn't scared him.)

The spectators took off again with me running behind them, and we arrived at the next spot as the leaders came running. I saw Walt running around 30th but still in the race. I repeated my encouraging yells. At this point, other spectators did not move and I realized that the course was such that they would run once more around then get on the track and run to the "shoot" aka finish line. I was standing near his team when I overheard some of the parents and runners talking about Walt being sick and running. I started biting my nails.

Finally, I saw him on the track heading round the bend. I was yelling as was his team. I heard his breath in sobs as he caught another runner coming in 32nd place. Turns out he was three seconds off his personal record. Turns out number 33 stole his 32 card so he will end up 33rd. Turns out his friends all gathered around him hugging him as he finally broke down. Someone was handing him something for the headache and water. I was overcome with his stamina, his courage and his will to triumph over adversity. I thanked God I was there to see it. Walt. The measure of a man. Even at 14.

Story Behind The Ring and Junior Achievement

I received many inquiries about my former post, "The Ring." You should all know that I am not given to writing poetry even though I do love reading it! I seem to have been inspired lately. Not sure if this trend will continue. I digress. One of values instilled in me at any early age was community service. I've tried to think back on just how I got this value, and I have to say, I don't really know. I just knew and know now how important it is to give back. An opportunity presented itself for me to "teach Junior Achievement" and amazingly enough - at my old high school. It was interesting and thrilling to go back and wander the halls as a "corporate professional." I felt such incredible deja vu standing in front of a class where I had been an economics student. I was not really sure how I or the lessons would be received. I needn't have worried; the kids were incredibly responsive.

Inevitably, you develop attachments to children/teens that are special. In one instance, a special boy has attached himself to me. He is a mature, thoughtful, intelligent, sweet kid. It turns out that he, Walt, had desperately "loved" a girl, Martie. Apparently, this unrequited love had been the object of his affection for several years. Finally, she appeared to be reciprocating his feelings. She does not have a very happy homelife - suffers from depression, feelings of self-loathing, etc. At any rate, the two of them had been to the movies and mall in groups. Somehow they ended up in a jewelry store with the two of them looking at rings. Walt, in his typically generous way, bought a ring for Martie that she absolutely loved. She wore it every day, and his pride in seeing it on her hand was huge. Without warning, she split from Walt and began "going out with" a friend in Walt's group. It was a crushing blow. Martie could not seem to understand why her actions would hurt Walt so. (Unbelievable) The final blow for Walt was when she actually gave the ring to Walt's best friend (also her friend). Walt's best friend, Jay, gave the ring to HIS girlfriend, Melanie. (I won't even go there on how a best friend could do this.) Melanie was overjoyed with the ring - wearing it every day. You can just imagine how poor Walt felt. In a strange turn of events, Melanie, new to the school, became very attached to Walt. She would teasingly say to Jay that if she had met Walt first, she would have tried to be with him. Jay, sensing Melanie's attraction to Walt, broke up with her. Interestingly, Melanie continued to wear the ring. She told Walt that she liked him, and he (the honorable friend and gentleman that he is) said that he could not hurt his best friend by going out with her. They let some time go by, and Walt and Melanie were finally free to be together. Walt is very in love now as is Melanie. And Martie, she has tried in vain to get Walt's attention. But he's over her. He found the girl who truly appreciates him. Kenju was right - it is truly karma in action. So that's the story behind the ring.

The Ring

The Ring - A Poem for Dear "W"

Life is a circle; just like the ring
Representing love and all that it means

I bought it for you to wear every day
You did that until you gave it away

Still can't believe you gave it to my friend
Who then presented it to his own girlfriend

Now they’re not together
But she and I are

The ring ended up
With the better owner by far

Bank Statements, Checkbooks and Credit Reports

Yesterday I received my bank statement. Lordy, I still nearly faint every time I look at my balances. I don't write many checks anymore, because I don't have any bills to speak of. In fact, I can just pay everything off and what I can't pay off (like utilities, cable, etc.) I just arrange for automatic withdrawals so I am never late for a bill ever again. Getting a windfall sure does help your credit rating. My accountant told me that I should go to http://www.equifax.com and get a copy of my credit report. He also told me that I should mark it up so that he can correct anything that is wrong. He also said I should close any accounts I don't have anymore like Parisian's and Talbot's. I didn't know that open accounts with zero balances count against your credit rating.

It doesn't seem that long ago that I had a certain VISA that I was late twice on, and they raised my interest rates to 28.99%. I hate those people; they are highway robbers in my opinion. It is almost like they smell blood when you are having a rough time. The financial sharks circle. Those same sharks become your best friend when you have money. But I am like an elephant. I don't forget. Now that I have money you can't be my best friend if you weren't before. So buzz off you Johnny come lately friends/financial institutions. I am remembering those who stuck by me when I wasn't so well off. P.S. Here's a picture of my accountant. And yes, I watch him closely.

Jim Cantore, The Weather Channel and Wilma

I'm up early this morning watching The Weather Channel's (TWC) coverage of Hurricane Wilma. Being a Category 3, it does not look as though it is going to be the threat that Katrina was. Of course, I don't live there so I won't be dealing with the power losses, flooding, fallen debris, etc. Bless those peoples' hearts!

Whenever I watch TWC, there is one correspondent that stands out -- Jim Cantore. Have you seen him? Wherever he is -- that's where it is the WORST. (Or so he wants you to believe.) This morning he has on goggle-like glasses and he keeps saying, "It is going to get WORSE." He has a great voice that resonates well. He would be a great disc jockey. Also, he looks pretty darned buff under all that TWC gear -- the good looking slickers and caps.

I researched Jim and found the following quote which I think describes him well:

"Jim is the "Mike Wallace" of meteorology. When he shows up, you know the weather is going to get interesting. Jim's passion for field reporting during extreme weather events is well known among TWC viewers. Whether it's "thunder snow", an ice storm, tornado chasing or a category 5 hurricane, there is no place Jim would rather be than right in the "eye of the storm."

How many men do YOU know who want to be in the "eye of the storm?" LOL.....

Sign me.........WINDFall Woman (pun intended)

Sadness. Tears and Guilt

A Poem for WaKaBaM

Bruised and battered
Hearts in tatters

No solace, no peace
No channel for release

I cry; I pray
Yet nothing I say

Will mend those things
Life so inevitably brings

*********************************

Have you ever just wished a day away? I did that yesterday...which I hate because it was a SATURDAY.

Someone quite near and dear to my heart struggled hard yesterday. Ultimately, he triumphed due to his heart, courage and will to win; but the "un-winners" were devastated. And there is a possibility that his triumph will be rescinded in favor of those more senior. This will hurt my dear one. No matter the outcome, someone will be in pain.

A friend close to me knew I was down today and tried to lift my spirits. He was angry that his effort did not work. I felt guilty and worse than before. I'd rather he not try.

And, I know a secret. One with more gravity than that of my windfall. I am close to a child in pain, a child in need. I have done what I can and am prohibited from doing more. My heart aches with the sadness of her life, her self perception. She is a talented child but is doing anything and everything to get attention. Yesterday I witnessed her pain yet again, and it tears me up every time I see it. She waves sweetly at me when she sees me. She is so desperate for attention. She has hurt someone close to me yet I still see her pain and pity her. I want to rescue her, but I cannot. I have done all I can. It doesn't feel enough. Some days I feel as though my heart is filled with every pain in the world. I hate these days. There is no money or gift that will solve heartache. I am powerless to do anything except pray for her. My curse is that sometimes in these times I cannot find my God. There is an adage, "Draw close to God, and He will draw close to you." I have to confess; I find that peace so very hard to find. I hate feeling this way. I hate writing this type of entry. But even we winfall winners hurt. Even we have our bad days. Because when it comes right down to it, the material things of this world do not make us happy. We only find that within.

Happy Birthday Dearest Daddy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST DADDY!

I love you, WFW.......

BREAKING NEWS - Miers Steals Winfall Woman's Thunder

We interrupt Windfall Woman's scintillating blog entry today to report that that unmentionable woman, Harriet Miers, is attempting to steal Winfall Woman's Thunder with the following breaking AP news headline.

Miers' Firm Received Large Windfall From Bush Campaign
'I've Never Seen That Kind of Money Spent on a Campaign Lawyer'
By FRANK BASS, AP

Attorneys for Windfall Woman would make no comment except to say that Miers had better not be stealing any google searches under the keyword "Windfall" or legal action will be instigated. Winfall Woman was spotted weeping profusely and sobbing, "What have I done to Harriet Miers to cause her to do this to me?"

102 Things About Me

102 Things About Me

1. I have green eyes
2. I have soft fingernails that I hate
3. I talk too much
4. I love people
5. I love dogs
6. I love children
7. I hate cooked vegetables
8. I love bread
9. I love sweets
10. I’m not much of a candy person
11. I’m deathly allergic to nuts and bees
12. I used to play the saxophone
13. I used to play the piano
14. I used to take voice lessons
15. I used to swim competitively
16. I think too much
17. I worry too much
18. I care too much
19. I am too sensitive
20. I wash my hands a lot
21. I avoid gassing up my own car (phobia of gasoline)
22. I get migraine headaches
23. I can’t drink wine without getting a headache the next day
24. I am a great salesperson
25. I have a one big regret in my life that I can’t share
26. I love watching TV
27. I don’t like to eat at really expensive restaurants
28. I love getting massages
29. I love candles
30. I hate strong perfume
31. Christmas is my favorite time of year
32. I would love to ride on the back of a motorcycle
33. I would love to go to Boston for the Fourth of July, see the fireworks and the Boston Pops
34. I love men who smell good
35. I’m happiest after I’ve had a shower
36. I have to sleep or I’m grumpy
37. I have great hair
38. I love having my feet massaged
39. I hate high heels
40. I love NASCAR
41. I’m not a redneck
42. I love football
43. My favorite movie is The English Patient
44. I wish I had the talent to decorate my own house
45. I love BMWs but I don’t have one
46. I don’t get “Will and Grace”
47. I love trees
48. I cuss too much
49. I think it makes me sound tough
50. I used to smoke
51. I smoked mostly when I drank
52. I quit both
53. I am a Daddy’s girl
54. I was my grandmother’s favorite grandchild
55. I loved her a lot
56. I am named after her
57. I will never have cosmetic surgery
58. When my hair goes gray, I won’t fight it
59. I love the beach
60. I want to learn to play golf
61. and be a member of a Country Club
62. and have lunch with my friends after golfing
63. I love to read
64. I like women authors the best
65. I think Bill Clinton’s voice is sexy
66. I used to think Bill Clinton was sexy
67. I want to go to Italy
68. I am still a little afraid to fly
69. I used to be agoraphobic
70. I had lots of therapy
71. I still have anxiety attacks
72. I am fairly recovered (except for a few phobias see #21)
73. I love champagne
74. I love champagne with strawberries in it
75. John Walsh is one of my heroes
76. I love all kinds of music except heavy metal and rap
77. I hate Tom Cruise
78. I don’t think Brad Pitt is sexy
79. I think Ed Burns is sexy
80. I think Kiefer Sutherland is sexy
81. He reminds me of a boyfriend I used to have
82. I have been fortunate to date quite a bit
83. I love men
84. I think my best friend’s dog is one of the ugliest dogs I have ever seen
85. I thought about being a librarian as a child
86. I think Aunt Bee’s food sounds delicious
87. I so much think it that I bought two Mayberry cookbooks
88. I’ve never made a thing out of either of them
89. I collect cookbooks and READ them
90. One of my life’s goals is to make one thing from every cookbook I own
91. I have a bread machine
92. I love making bread in it
93. I was born around Christmas time
94. My mother says Santa brought her a real doll for Christmas that year
95. I have a weak stomach
96. I hate bathroom humor
97. I cry easily
98. I have a loving heart
99. I worry about starving children
100. I used to watch beauty pageants with my grandmother, mother and aunts as a child and rated the contestants
101. I still do this today
102. I miss my grandmother every day of my life


**I wrote 102 things so as not to be "in the crowd" with the oft used 100.

"Medium" - I "saw" my new bed

Raising my hand......ok, I admit it. I happen to like some TV. My favorite shows is "Medium" with Patricia Arquette. Here is the description of the show that describes it really well.

"Medium" is a a chilling drama series inspired by the real-life story of research medium Allison DuBois. Patricia Arquette stars as a young wife and mother who, since childhood, has been struggling to make sense of her dreams and visions of dead people. Allison is a strong-willed young mother of three, a devoted wife and law student who begins to suspect that she can talk to dead people, see the future in her dreams and read people's thoughts. Fearing for her mental health, she turns for support to her husband Joe, an aerospace engineer. The real challenge is convincing her boss, D.A. Devalos that her psychic abilities him solve violent crimes whose mysteries reside with those who live beyond the grave."

Now that I have sufficiently "plugged" my favorite show, I was "bed blogging" on Sunday night when suddenly I looked up at the TV. Patricia and Joe (above) were laying/lying? in MY new bed that I just ordered. Oh my gosh! Does NBC shop at the same stores that I do? I was thinking how great that bed looked when suddenly it dawned on me. A horrific thought. My new bed looks like a park bench I've seen at The Home Depot. Oh no! Please say no. I can't have a new bed that matches a park bench, can I?

Anyhow, it is a good looking bed, isn't it?

Around 6:30, I drove up the street to pick my pizza. Being too lazy to pop in a CD, I opted for the radio. Nothing was on -- as usual. I ended up on a "classic" station. Big mistake. Jennifer Warnes was on singing "The Right Time of the Night." A very old song, but right in my register. So, I park....get out of the car, still SINGING "the right time of the night....." I get to the verse "for making love" and bump smack into some man coming OUT of the pizza parlor. He looked at me like I was some sort of perverted chanteuse. How could I explain, "well, you see, I was blogging about my bed being on Medium and then one thing led to another...." Somehow, I don't think it would have helped my cause.....Wonder what he told his family when he got home? Wonder what he thought?

America's Top Model

Please someone.....put me out of my misery. I am actually watching "America's Top Model." No, I don't care about baseball.....or at least these teams. No volleyball either please. I need to be rescued.

Call me Charlie Brown or I'm so bored baby

Our CEO visited our city Monday, and of course, in Corporate America, going to see him is not a voluntary proposition. We all are expected to attend and kiss the hem of the ....ahem...."pope." He actually is not a bad guy. He talked -- amazingly using BIG index cards -- for 30 minutes. I looked at my watch and thought -- dang, I am a talker -- but he really can ramble. All during his "speech," cell phones kept going off. One of them was someone's in front of me! It was relentless on and on. Finally, this lady picked up her huge pocketbook and starts plowing through it. Honestly, it was hysterical! She must have been Mary Poppins' twin because she was hauling the most unbelievable stuff out of it -- and very noisily. He was transfixed watching her as he blabbed on about EBITDA, Wall Street, etc. etc. I don't think she ever found the phone. In the midst of this, her friend sitting next to her leaned over having a conversation with her. Keep in mind they were sitting on the FRONT ROW in the MIDDLE -- right in front of him. I saw his eyes keep darting back to them. Honestly, were some people born in a barn?

Once he finally ceased his "intro comments," he called for Q&A. Typically, we have to "presubmit" questions. I always wonder about this practice. I mean didn't "W" just get skewered for that press conference with the soldiers the other day. Don't get me wrong -- that was embarrassing, stupid, and tells me how much faith even W's advisors have in him. I mean these guys are fighting a war for God's sake. But they have to take time out to the prepped on the POTUS questions and the politically correct answers they are supposed to provide? If it weren't so telling, it would be hysterical.

I digress, I'm not speaking of "W," I am speaking of our CEO. Well, the first question was quite naturally MY boss'. I swear that man has a nose browner than a brazilian nut. I was almost gagging as he "lobbed" an easy question. You know it is a sad situation when my boss comes off like a rocket scientist. He's not. But the following questions were awful. One guy posed what was to be an intricate, confrontational question. He looked like an ass. That performance was followed by a woman who questioned whether we would all get a raise since the CEO had received one. The rest of it was BLAH BLAH BLAH....

I felt like Charlie Brown in the classroom listening to his teacher. You know the scene in Peanuts. Poor Charlie Brown is sitting at his desk and suddenly her words turn into nonsensical squawking. At the sound of the CEO's squawking, I decided to focus on the finer things in life....like how good my calves looked, how cute my new shoes were, and how nice the cologne was of the man sitting next to me.....In the midst of all this, I had a wild urge to stand up and scream -- I don't have to be here! I could be anywhere else BUT here! What am I doing here? But I kept my mouth shut....bored.....and focused on my calves and my shoes again.....

(The bored baby is not mine, just a depiction of my state of mind)

My Poem for "A" Friend

It’s almost like we never met………..

It’s almost like we never met
Fraught with anguish and regret

Never adored, never cherished
All those feelings now have perished

We see each other, turn away
No longer anything substantive to say

Did I simply imagine it all
Or were we together like I recall

What I know is how I feel
And now I think it was never real

Lottery, Powerball, Luck .......Another Windfall?

I am in the midst of a dilemma, and I need help. I have been participating a "lottery group buy" with friends from a couple of states. Here's how it works: we each buy $10 worth of our state's lottery tickets at different places -- somewhere we feel might be "lucky." We then fax a copy of the tickets to each other. It is/was a great idea. Except for one thing. I don't need to win the lottery anymore.

Not to be a broken record, but I don't want to lose my anonymity. This whole ticket buying thing.....well, it is a pain. I sometimes get stressed because I haven't had time to buy the tickets. I worry I'll forget to fax them. I worry that the purchasing spot doesn't feel "lucky enough." I'm afraid I'll -- God forbid -- I'll hex the tickets because my heart isn't in it. Isn't that stupid worry?

Part of me feels so guilty because I have friends who really WANT to win. I mean they've calculated odds on our probabilities. Yes, these are some people quite anxious to QUIT their jobs and doing other things.

Am I awful for being lazy and wanting to get out of this? And what if they find out I don't need the windfall? Will they be angry at me? If we win, do I keep my share of the winnings? I'm probably worrying over something that won't happen, but I feel a little guilty buying those tickets. I hate feeling guilty. I almost feel like that little devil is sitting on one shoulder saying, "The rich just get richer -- Donald Trump doesn't quit making money" and then the angel on the other shoulder saying, "Don't be greedy. You've gotten your share."

It's driving me crazy. I know, I know, it's a good problem to have. I have a girlfriend who laments not keeping up with our friends. I always say, "I like being poor; I know exactly who my friends are. No one is liking me for anything other than me." I don't really want that to change. I don't want anyone to know about my windfall. They'll treat me differently. Then I'll be disappointed. More importantly, will it change the way they feel about me? Will they be jealous? Angry? Fawning? Nicer? I don't know if I want to know.......

Headache.......Migraine......Blahs........

I did not wake up with a headache, but as the day has progessed, I have developed one. Unfortunately, I am prone to get them taking after the maternal side of my family. If I can get somewhere and rest my head, I can usually prevent a full fledged migraine. I don't feel very "windfall-ish" today. I do; however, feel as though something fell -- on my head.

I'm off to medicate and recuperate. Hope your Sunday is blessed.

The Three Sexiest Words Are.......

You've come here to hear what the three sexiest words in the English language are. Do you really think I'm going to tell you in the very first sentence? Like....no way.

I have a close friend I see almost every day -- Barney. I've known Barney for a long time. You might say we grew up together. Our friendship was based a mutual chemistry. We also seemed like kindred spirits. We could talk about anything, and as I look back on it, when we were kids -- it seemed like we always agreed on everything. At the start of any relationship, have you ever noticed how attracted you are to someone who says something that you so totally agree with that you are literally nodding your head? The conversation between the two of you spills out....almost interrupting each other in your mutual agreement. You are eager to find more things in common. More things that validate your attraction.....Somehow though, along life's inevitable path, you begin to find things that are dissimilar. The dissimilar things begin to nag at you, and almost like kudzu spreading rapidly, the seeds of discontent grow in the two of you. Suddenly, this person who was your best friend, a person you went to ballgames with and shared onion rings....is NOT your best friend anymore. Instead, he has become the other boxer in the ring in a fight to the death match. The two of you warily face off....sparring and jabbing. It becomes a hollow victory when you land a good punch or knock him to his knees. What have you really won? You've hurt your best friend. Your friend is gone.

So....how do you get out of this damaging rut? The recipe to happiness.....the return to the chemistry that was there before......it is all in three simple words. "You are right...." That's it -- you go back to those days when you agreed. Agreement becomes a habit. Agreement breeds goodwill. And who knows where goodwill leads you?

Jessica Simpson's Shawl and My Best Work Friend

I did it. Took the plunge. I finally did something for someone outside the family straight from the windfall's coffers. While I've been able to do some things for people I don't know, I've been a bit nervous to venture into the realm of doing things for people I do know. Gotta stay relatively anonymous you know.

So.......it may sound a little juvenile, but I have a best friend at work. She is just a few years older than I am, so she is my "go to" friend for all kinds of questions. A very strikingly attractive woman who is a fashion plate, she has those sultry Argentinian looks (obviously my diametric opposite) and just happens to have a very yummy husband. I know this because one day I was at her desk and happened to pick up a picture on her sideboard. I glanced at it and then did a double take. "My God, is this your husband?" I murmured. She looked sharply at me and said, "Yes, that's him." I said, "You never told me how gorgeous he is." She laughed. She is the one friend I have that we can actually talk about......well, things.

I digress. Around Thanksgiving last year, she had made a trip to Argentina and returned with the most gorgeous shawls. I absolutely fell in love with a maize colored one not realizing I had selected the exact shawl Jessica Simpson has on in this picture from her MTV Show, The Newlyweds! I HAD to have it. Had to. Suddenly, I had turned into a weird MTV groupie. And my girlfriend -- she understood. Turns out the Argentinian knitter, weaver, whatever she was, had made Jessica's shawl too. My shawl was famous! Jessica and I were "sisters in the shawl." My girlfriend would not let me pay full price; in fact, she GAVE it to me -- said she'd make it up on the other ones she sold. But, she said, there's just ONE condition. You have to promise me that you will make brownies with it on -- just like Jessica does on the show! She was laughing (we are constantly laughing) and since she had thrown down the gauntlet -- by God, I made those brownies -- WITH the shawl on too! I called her while I was doing it, and she said put your webcam on -- I don't believe it. I'm like WEBCAM? I don't have a webcam. Then she said.....ah well, a webcam can be fun for all sorts of things. At which, I bent double laughing. She is such a nut.

By now, I'm sure you've guessed that she had to be at the top of my list for "reward." I decided because we don't have enough time together, and we have so much fun that a "spa day" was in order. Since I couldn't tell her about the windfall (at least yet anyway), I told her I won a contest -- a spa day for two at our local spa. Lord, it is going to be heavenly. We're starting out the morning with a hot stone massage. They serve cold water with crisp cucumbers in it for cleansing the system. I just love that water. I know; I'm nuts. And I know -- I can make that spa water and keep it right in my own refrigerator. Anyhow, next we will have full body sea scrubs, then a delicious, catered lunch. After lunch, we're having facials, manicures and pedicures. I am really looking forward to it. She thinks I am really lucky. She's right.

Eva Longoria................OR????????

HAHAHAHA.....I made you look! I used to love that game when I was a little girl. No, I am not writing about Eva Longoria. (By the way, I do think she is fabulous on Desperate Housewives, and I do think she's gorgeous.)

Now that my little joke is over, what I really want to write about is inspiration. Now, you may all laugh out there but I actually get my best ideas in the shower washing my hair. It's crazy I know. Is there something about stimulating the hair follicles that kicks my brain into gear? I don't know. I've always had a preoccupation with being clean, and I don't mean that in a Howard Hughes sort of way. (Although, according to my mother, one of my female ancestors used to wash her hands until they were raw. Sounds like she DID suffer from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Anyhow, being a Liberal Arts major, water is representative of many themes.....rebirth, cleansing, baptism.......you get the idea. I think I feel as though every shower renders my body and spirit refreshed, rejuvenated and cleansed. That rebirth has happened with the windfall. My life has changed so completely. I know I am the same person inside yet I feel oddly cleansed and reborn. Here's wishing YOU a refreshed spirit today and every day!

Me at work.....Have I revealed.......???

I have received lots of questions about my work. No, I have not told the people I work with about the windfall. Believe it or not, I happen to like my job. I was angry earlier this week (why I missed a day of blogging) because I found out that while I will be moving to a new position.....I will be doing two jobs.....and I will get the title and the pay of the lesser title. That makes me angry. Why do I stay? As I said, while I am an OLDER BM look-a-like, nonetheless, I am still young. I don't know that I'm ready to "retire" so to speak. Haven't you heard about all those people who die when they retire? I don't want THAT!

Besides, I am still working on my life's blueprint after my career. Why not continue to work -- especially if I enjoy it -- while I work out the details? Plus, work is a helluva lot more fun when you don't HAVE to have the job. I still have a few rather Machiavellian moves to complete before I "come out." LOL......it IS going to be fun. Some time I'll have to tell the story of how I "fell" into my career. Buckle your seatbelts......it does involve a party and alcohol......Cheerio!

Brittany Murphy and........the Lake House

You may notice that I changed my description of my blog. So many readers have pictures or logos representing themselves. I love the really creative ones.......and the ones of you brave enough to show your true pictures! Because of the windfall, I am still cautious of showing my "true self," but I wanted some representation! It all started when someone close to me said, "oh my gosh, you look like Brittany Murphy!" Well, I hate to say it, but I didn't know who the heck BM was. It turned out she was in a movie at the time......one with Dakota Fanning. Anyhow, if I can figure out how to add her picture, I am going to do it. So look out. I'm getting techno-savvy here.

Regarding the lake house, no I have not bought it yet. Yes, the view IS from the house. I am still thinking about it. Do you know how hard it is to find the most beautiful lakes in the United States? I did a google search and could not find a list anywhere. It's crazy. I'm going to keep trying.......and looking.

With this lake view?

What about this lake house?

A new house?

I am looking for a second house. I’m thinking a lake house. I don’t want anything mildewy or old like so many of them are. I’m past dirty, smelly things now. I’m going to a buy a new lake house. Some in my family will say it is very nouveau. Guess what? I don’t care. It’s my money, and it’s my house and I’ll buy what I want to! One of the most important rooms in the lake house is going to be an office where I can look out the window at the water or the view and be inspired. My dream has always been to write a great book. It’s my destiny – and then appearing on Oprah talking about my life and my great book. She’ll be asking me questions about what inspired the book and I will talk about that. I’m not sure I’ll mention “the fall.” It won’t be easy making more money but I think I’ll manage. Last night I had a different nightmare than the one about “the fall” disappearing. I dreamt people who work for me stole it, and I ended up in a shelter. That made me think of stuffing some money in a mattress somewhere. Really.

Harriet Miers - Windfall or Downfall Woman?

Lately I've been thinking of other people I would place in the windfall category. Have they been successful or unsuccessful and why? Because of her recent nomination to the Supreme Court, Harriet Miers came to mind as someone people might consider in the "windfall category." My goodness, though, what criticism she has faced since her nomination! A relentless examination of her background, her frailities........not that I'm saying I "get" why he nominated her. I really don't. How can someone be appointed to the highest court in the land and not have any experience being a judge? While I applaud his choice of a woman, I can't say I approve of her. How many thousands of female judges with impeccable credentials AND character must there be? I would bet thousands......

As we turn to Ms. Miers, how must she be feeling being the object of late night jokes? It is one thing to be ridiculed or questioned for your views on different issues or your liberalism or conservatism, but it is quite another to be deemed as "unqualified" or "unworthy." Personally, I would HATE that. I guess if you really want something.......a job, a place in history....you're willing to put yourself under a microscope for the world to see. I'm not sure I would ever think anything is worth it.

Tom Cruise - A Windfall? HA!

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.......hmmm. I think they feel they experienced a "windfall" with each other. Frankly, I don't think Tom Cruise is such a catch. I mean if and when he marries Katie, it will be his THIRD marriage. I would have a fit if my young daughter married a man that much older with that much "mileage" on him. I'll go one step further too.....What's with this having kids out of wedlock? I don't mean to sound judgmental but why not wait until you're actually married? I guess I'm dating myself here.

I'm so over the press coverage on these two -- especially Tom Cruise. I think his jumping on Oprah's sofa was stupid. I think his criticism of Brooke Shields' postpartum depression situation was uncalled for.

I think I'm going to boycott Tom Cruise stuff for awhile. I'm over him. I don't care how much money he has or how young his girlfriend is.

Here's what I would attempt to do if I knew I could not fail.

It is only fair that I reveal my answers! So here they are, in no particular order:

(1) Sing with a band in public
(2) Run a 10K race
(3) Knit a sweater
(4) Apply to an Ivy League School for a Master's and Doctorate degree in English
(5) Learn to play the guitar -- like really!
(6) Plant an herb garden in pots in my kitchen; use the fresh herbs in recipes

What would you do?

First, I want to thank you all for your comments on my last post. What terrific ideas you presented for my proposed trip! I'm going to begin researching soon.

Today something happened that jolted me. I awoke very chipper and eager to attend a seminar we were hosting for our customers. Suddenly, I was gripped with an awful ill feeling. I felt as though I might faint or be sick. I stopped for a minute and continued on "doing" my hair thinking it was a passing feeling. It was not. I stumbled to the bed, and fell across it. I felt sick and sleepy. After slipping a fresh gown on, I slid back under the sheets and slept for several hours. I awoke parched, drank water and immediately fell back to sleep. I always feel so vulnerable when I'm sick. I don't like that feeling. Not at all. Helpless. Dependent. Especially when you are grownup.

These scary feelings inevitably led me to thank God that illness was not my daily lot. How must people feel when they are sick and helpless every day of their lives? I thought -- the "fall" can't help me now. If I WANTED to, I couldn't buy my health today. How many people today in the world wake up every day of their lives in this state? I wonder if it was a sign that I need to add a health organization to my list of specified charities. As I've said before, I know that I will continue to donate to Victory Junction Gang Camp. Maybe this illness was a sign that I need to add another philanthopy focusing on illness/disease to my list. But which one?

Yesterday morning I awoke very early -- around 5am. I flipped on the TV (yes, I know, it is a bad habit). In almost a surreal way, I was mesmerized by this televangelist. Now, DON'T stop reading here. This gets pretty interesting. She was talking about Job and FEAR. If you have been following my blog, you know a recurrent theme in it deals with my struggle with fear. Apparently, Job said "the thing I fear comes upon me." The bottom line - the message is that we have to stop being afraid that something bad is going to happen to us, and we have to have faith. The lady's name was Joyce Meyer and what she said made sense to me. I may read her book sometime.

Anyway, I have decided two things. On Monday, I am going to do what my grandmother did who successfully held on to her money -- put some money in CDs. It worked for her, and it will give me peace of mind.

The second thing is that I am going on a trip. A two week trip. I don't think that is too extravagant. I want you guys to help me choose where to go. I am not getting on a cruise ship so that is out. I have been to Mexico and all around the United States. I want to go out of the country. I've spent my entire life in the U.S. and lived in only one state. I think that classifies me as rather unworldly. So I need your help. I'm thinking Spain, England, Italy, France? And someone mentioned I should learn a foreign language. I want to do that too, so don't let the language thing be a barrier. Where would YOU go and why? Help me out? Please?