Lottery, Powerball, Luck .......Another Windfall?
I am in the midst of a dilemma, and I need help. I have been participating a "lottery group buy" with friends from a couple of states. Here's how it works: we each buy $10 worth of our state's lottery tickets at different places -- somewhere we feel might be "lucky." We then fax a copy of the tickets to each other. It is/was a great idea. Except for one thing. I don't need to win the lottery anymore.
Not to be a broken record, but I don't want to lose my anonymity. This whole ticket buying thing.....well, it is a pain. I sometimes get stressed because I haven't had time to buy the tickets. I worry I'll forget to fax them. I worry that the purchasing spot doesn't feel "lucky enough." I'm afraid I'll -- God forbid -- I'll hex the tickets because my heart isn't in it. Isn't that stupid worry?
Part of me feels so guilty because I have friends who really WANT to win. I mean they've calculated odds on our probabilities. Yes, these are some people quite anxious to QUIT their jobs and doing other things.
Am I awful for being lazy and wanting to get out of this? And what if they find out I don't need the windfall? Will they be angry at me? If we win, do I keep my share of the winnings? I'm probably worrying over something that won't happen, but I feel a little guilty buying those tickets. I hate feeling guilty. I almost feel like that little devil is sitting on one shoulder saying, "The rich just get richer -- Donald Trump doesn't quit making money" and then the angel on the other shoulder saying, "Don't be greedy. You've gotten your share."
It's driving me crazy. I know, I know, it's a good problem to have. I have a girlfriend who laments not keeping up with our friends. I always say, "I like being poor; I know exactly who my friends are. No one is liking me for anything other than me." I don't really want that to change. I don't want anyone to know about my windfall. They'll treat me differently. Then I'll be disappointed. More importantly, will it change the way they feel about me? Will they be jealous? Angry? Fawning? Nicer? I don't know if I want to know.......
Not to be a broken record, but I don't want to lose my anonymity. This whole ticket buying thing.....well, it is a pain. I sometimes get stressed because I haven't had time to buy the tickets. I worry I'll forget to fax them. I worry that the purchasing spot doesn't feel "lucky enough." I'm afraid I'll -- God forbid -- I'll hex the tickets because my heart isn't in it. Isn't that stupid worry?
Part of me feels so guilty because I have friends who really WANT to win. I mean they've calculated odds on our probabilities. Yes, these are some people quite anxious to QUIT their jobs and doing other things.
Am I awful for being lazy and wanting to get out of this? And what if they find out I don't need the windfall? Will they be angry at me? If we win, do I keep my share of the winnings? I'm probably worrying over something that won't happen, but I feel a little guilty buying those tickets. I hate feeling guilty. I almost feel like that little devil is sitting on one shoulder saying, "The rich just get richer -- Donald Trump doesn't quit making money" and then the angel on the other shoulder saying, "Don't be greedy. You've gotten your share."
It's driving me crazy. I know, I know, it's a good problem to have. I have a girlfriend who laments not keeping up with our friends. I always say, "I like being poor; I know exactly who my friends are. No one is liking me for anything other than me." I don't really want that to change. I don't want anyone to know about my windfall. They'll treat me differently. Then I'll be disappointed. More importantly, will it change the way they feel about me? Will they be jealous? Angry? Fawning? Nicer? I don't know if I want to know.......
14 Comments:
If you are not enjoying it then I would just quit. The whole thing about a windfall is being able to do what you want, right? If it is giving you this much worry then it is just not worth it!
Hugssssss and relax :)
Oh and ty for your comment on my new look! I love it!!! :D
I agree with Phoenix, you have to go with your gut instinct. BUT! You also have to believe in abundance and not in limitations... there is more than enough to go around... we are all sitting at a huge feast and some of us, for some unknown reason, believe that we only deserve the crumbs at the end of the table... others recognize the feast and choose to enjoy it.
And, yes, I am way over generalizing it. But, the bottom line is - if it makes you feel bad... you shouldn't do it.
Personally, I'd bow out politely. No reason to feel guilty either way - your $10 worth of tickets does not have a significant impact on their odds.
I hope you don't win a second time because I'm sure that would be too big a burden. I'll try not to win either; I couldn't handle success.
Thanks for the thoughts. You're all right - I guess it is the antithesis of "If it feels good, do it." I need to quit whining. Snakester, I am sure you could handle success. Might solve the potential kleptomania and substance abuse problems.
I'd bag it, too. But hey, if you win and it bugs you, donate the bucks.
Telling them "no" does not equal telling them about the windfall. I think eventually, down the road, they will know about the windfall. And likely, they'll be glad that you bowed out and gave them a chance?
Bottom life, it's your thang, do what you wanna do.
I mean, bottom LINE.
;)
Punt it!
It is causing you more anguish than the "joy" it used to give!!
If you don't want to participate anymore, you don't have to tell them why, do you?
Use the old Yankee Transplant non-specific reason for not doing a thing: "I'd love to,but I can't." No further explanation. They'll carry on without you and you'll be free of the pain in the ass.
Just my old lady advice.
Be true to thyself . . . forever more. Authenticity! As for the money. If you win and you don't need, then donate it to litearcy. I like the site, alot!
-Lane
Congrats! I think you should preserve your anonymity. Two people in my town hit the lottery and everyone was bugging them for money. A friend of mine in another state hit and offered me money and I said no. I think it can just change how someone feels about you...I mean, you're still the same wonderful person, right? not a bank.
Do something special for yourself and your family. :)
and when I win the lottery, we'll meet in Paris or New York for lunch!
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