Windfall Woman

Life and times of an older Brittany Murphy look-a-like still working as a sales executive after experiencing a life changing windfall a year or so ago

My Photo
Location: United States

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Call me Charlie Brown or I'm so bored baby

Our CEO visited our city Monday, and of course, in Corporate America, going to see him is not a voluntary proposition. We all are expected to attend and kiss the hem of the ....ahem...."pope." He actually is not a bad guy. He talked -- amazingly using BIG index cards -- for 30 minutes. I looked at my watch and thought -- dang, I am a talker -- but he really can ramble. All during his "speech," cell phones kept going off. One of them was someone's in front of me! It was relentless on and on. Finally, this lady picked up her huge pocketbook and starts plowing through it. Honestly, it was hysterical! She must have been Mary Poppins' twin because she was hauling the most unbelievable stuff out of it -- and very noisily. He was transfixed watching her as he blabbed on about EBITDA, Wall Street, etc. etc. I don't think she ever found the phone. In the midst of this, her friend sitting next to her leaned over having a conversation with her. Keep in mind they were sitting on the FRONT ROW in the MIDDLE -- right in front of him. I saw his eyes keep darting back to them. Honestly, were some people born in a barn?

Once he finally ceased his "intro comments," he called for Q&A. Typically, we have to "presubmit" questions. I always wonder about this practice. I mean didn't "W" just get skewered for that press conference with the soldiers the other day. Don't get me wrong -- that was embarrassing, stupid, and tells me how much faith even W's advisors have in him. I mean these guys are fighting a war for God's sake. But they have to take time out to the prepped on the POTUS questions and the politically correct answers they are supposed to provide? If it weren't so telling, it would be hysterical.

I digress, I'm not speaking of "W," I am speaking of our CEO. Well, the first question was quite naturally MY boss'. I swear that man has a nose browner than a brazilian nut. I was almost gagging as he "lobbed" an easy question. You know it is a sad situation when my boss comes off like a rocket scientist. He's not. But the following questions were awful. One guy posed what was to be an intricate, confrontational question. He looked like an ass. That performance was followed by a woman who questioned whether we would all get a raise since the CEO had received one. The rest of it was BLAH BLAH BLAH....

I felt like Charlie Brown in the classroom listening to his teacher. You know the scene in Peanuts. Poor Charlie Brown is sitting at his desk and suddenly her words turn into nonsensical squawking. At the sound of the CEO's squawking, I decided to focus on the finer things in how good my calves looked, how cute my new shoes were, and how nice the cologne was of the man sitting next to me.....In the midst of all this, I had a wild urge to stand up and scream -- I don't have to be here! I could be anywhere else BUT here! What am I doing here? But I kept my mouth shut....bored.....and focused on my calves and my shoes again.....

(The bored baby is not mine, just a depiction of my state of mind)


Blogger Flubberwinkle said...

I have done some pretty darn good thought-organizings & day-dreamings whilst "paying attention" to some speech/lecture! The tricky part is trying to keep up with the moodswings set by the speaker's voice, e.g. raising your eyebrows in suprise, a little head bobbing in agreement, jotting down some notes [scribbling] of sth important (that last one usually makes the other people around you uneasy... "Wha did I miss?")

8:23 AM  
Blogger David said...

I got tossed from the corporate world in 1990 and heve never really missed all the bla bla blahh.

in 15 years I'll collect a small pension if there even is a telephone company left in business.

Iwould like to keep reading here to see where the windfall leads you.

12:23 PM  
Blogger Zen Wizard said...

I must say I have to give a weekly "address the troops"-speech, and the cell-phone-in-the-middle-thing is almost UNBEARABLY annoying.

The polite thing for that woman to do would have been to exit the room until she can find the d*mned thing and put it on "vibrate"; then return.

I have to say that this CEO-guy is a "cool cucumber"--I would have "lost it"...I guess that's why he's the CEO and I am the corporate equivalent of a Sergeant.

12:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FlubberW, I resisted getting out my blackberry equivalent and playing with it. Others did not. I am an inveterate doodler as well, and I had paper -- resisted getting it out too. All in all, I was a good girl. David? Welcome! I take it you worked for one of the "phone companies." I too am looking forward to where the windfall will lead me....hopefully not to the gates of Hades. That's why I started blogging. Zen, I think the CEO focused on the MILLIONS he is making because he claimed he sold his stock to use 5% of it to finance his recent move. If I sold 5% of my holdings, the only place I'd move would be to Carvel's Ice Cream. That's all it would buy me.

1:28 PM  
Blogger Dorothy said...

Omg..that must have been boring. I'd probably dig out a notebook and start on a new book!

1:30 PM  
Anonymous Snake said...

Sounds like one helluva show.

5:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dorothy, I was too darned close to do anything but look like I was paying attention. Snake, it was amusing for sure.

6:05 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

You gave me a flashback to the last Town Hall meeting I attended in my old position, where some real hardball questions were posed and actually fielded quite admirably (i.e., with honesty, not BS).

I get those urges too - like in meetings where I think, What would these people do if I just stood up and threw my bottle of water across the room?

12:36 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

eXTReMe Tracker