To those of you who've found true love........for you

I had to remove this entry

How do you spell R-E-L-I-E-F ????

How do you spell relief? What does it feel like? It feels like this to me - "Ms. WFW, after reviewing your bloodwork, your exams, your mammograms, your ultrasounds.....we have determined that you are .........PERFECTLY FINE. In fact, it is the best news possible. Your lumps have completely disappeared. We've looked and looked. There are no longer any lumps."

I couldn't believe it. The best news possible. How could it be? No more lumps. No possible tumors on my breast bone. Not now anyway.

I was so relieved. A friend picked me up, and we headed up to the mountains to a luxury hotel. We splurged on food. We sat outside in the terraced garden.............peeked at a couple's rehearsal dinner......and drank good coffee looking up at the sky. I couldn't breathe enough of the cool mountain air. It was so peaceful and quiet. I so felt God's blessings.

We turned in early. At about 1:30 am, we both awoke to the air conditioner being off. Suddenly, before I knew it, we were laughing hysterically. Like a slumber party when I was a girl. We laughed for two hours - in the middle of the night. Was that my release? I don't know. The next morning we headed for a new spot......beautiful......and hooked up with another friend. We had a wonderful time. Suddenly all I wanted to do was to go home. Sleep in my own bed with my own good news. Kiss my kitten and hug my dog. Take a shower in my bathroom. And just sleep......a peaceful and worry free sleep. That's just what I did. Life is good.

It was HOT!

My date was HOT. We went to an outdoor arena for a concert. It was over 90 degrees. It was hot. We tried not to concentrate on the heat. It worked. We went to dinner (cool), and it was very enjoyable. He was very attentive and fun. We both had a really nice time. Being the first date and all, one has to keep things in perspective. He did mention future dates. We do have quite a bit in common, and we talked about that. He was a perfect gentleman. I would definitely go out with him again. He's one of those people you feel like you've known a really long time. I REALLY don't want him to find out about the windfall for many reasons. See, these are the problems one faces with a windfall -- I don't want anybody who wants me for my money.

I have a...............date

I have a.........date tonight. I can't really believe it, but I do! He doesn't know about the windfall. I'm really glad he doesn't. He has two big points in his favor. He loves children, and he loves animals. Those are two "must haves" in my book. What are YOUR "must haves?"

Cooking, Healing and the Mountains

Ah........I told you all that I was going to start enjoying life more. I took a road ride up for a surprise visit to Miss Belle at ballet camp. She was so excited to see me that she ran out of the dorm door and locked herself out! She got someone to let her in for her keys and meal card, but she said, "You can take me to lunch if you like." Of course I wanted to! Being in a small town on a Sunday, there were not many options. We settled on a Zaxby's (my first time there). It was absolutely perfect. We had limited time, and the food was good. She was glad to see someone from home, and her parents are coming to see her later. She had been pretty upset because someone had taken all of the money her parents had sent to her ($100!). Now this is where a windfall comes in really good. I was able to give her the money back.

On my trip up, I noticed various vegetable/fruit stands. My granddaddy was a farmer, so I am a sucker for fresh stuff. I stopped off at one place and bought some peach preserves, silver queen corn, fresh tomatoes and peaches. While heading home, I saw a sign "mountain strawberries." Of course, I HAD to stop. I bought MORE tomatoes and some of those tiny strawberries. I decided on making supper for a friend who appreciates good Southern cooking. I made my famous cornbread, cooked the corn, sliced the fresh tomatoes and chopped the strawberries after making a fresh peach pie. It was all pretty good. In fact, you know something's pretty ok when your guest asks for a second piece of pie. I'm feeling better.

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there! I wish a very happy one to my own daddy who sustains me. He sure didn't have the easiest life growing up. His own dad died when he was two. His mother worked hard to support three children (and one who died shortly after birth). My daddy was the baby, but you would never have known it. He started working when he was just a kid, delivering milk. He knows how to do about everything (at least I think so). The one thing I wish he'd do is to slow down a bit and not work so hard. Take time to relax. I guess when you've spent your whole life working yourself to the bone, it becomes a habit.

I also have to pay tribute to Walt's dad who doesn't know about this blog, since he doesn't know I have a windfall. He is spending HIS Father's Day getting up at 6am and driving two and half hours to camp (one way). I bet he'd rather lay on the sofa and watch ...... well not NASCAR, not golf......maybe old movies? He is a great dad.

I haven't mentioned Belle the ballerina much lately as she has been at an intensive ballet camp. Her mom (one of my close friends) tells me that HER dad yanks up the phone as soon as she calls and insists on yakking on every call for EVERY second. He doesn't want to miss a word. Now I told her -- that's sweet that he wants to hear everything. LOL.....she does give him credit for lugging a fridge and six trays of heavy gatorade up three flights of stairs -- not to mention a trunk filled with NEW clothes. Don't you just love it?

And for the dads on here that visit my blog....Happy Father's Day to you too. I'm afraid I'd hurt someone's feelings if I mentioned all of you motorcycle riding, scientific magazine writing, hand ball playing, writers, poets, handyman on a mountain, hat wearing, Hale type men who love your kids. And to my attorney, my accountant and the slew of people who help keep the windfall intact....a big hug.

Happy Father's Day. And to my own daddy......once again.......I love you Daddy. This Much.

Mammograms and Oatmeal Cookies

I have to have an "emergency diagnostic mammogram" next Thursday. On one hand, my doctor says she doesn't think there's anything to worry about but to call and get this done. I call and the appointment person says, "Oh yes, WFW, we have been instructed to schedule you immediately as an emergency d-mammogram." I refuse to worry about this unless and until there is something to worry about.

On the bright side, Walt is headed to camp to serve as a Counselor-in-Training for three weeks. I asked what I could buy for him, and he said, "Don't buy me anything, but I'd love some homemade oatmeal cookies." Isn't he a great kid? Guess what I'll be doing today????

I'm going to make some extras. I love oatmeal cookies. It's fine to get to appreciating things again. It's been a not so fun two months - my dog dying, my cousin committing suicide, two breast lumps......I'm tired of being depressed. I'm tired of not enjoying things. It's time to have some fun again. I love life too much to live it like this.

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever." Psalm 23

Cosmo and I'm still no fun

It isn't every day a girl gets on the front of Cosmo so you know I had to feature it. I'm still no fun. I've got a lump. In my breast. I'm going to the doctor today. I'm frightened.

Thank you.......the grief continues

First, I would be terribly remiss if I did not say a heartfelt thank you for all of your support. It really DOES make a difference. My cousin's visitation is Thursday, and the funeral is Friday. I know it sounds strange that I would equate my cousin's death with my dog's, but I do. Last night, the reality of Balto's death hit me again with such force that I thought I was going to be sick. I'm still in shock. Is it possible to live out your life in shock?

Monday, Monday

The reality of the situation is hitting home. Someone in our family was hurt enough to end his own life. How do you make sense of it?

A Sad Saturday

My mother called me yesterday morning early. I don't like early morning weekend calls. I liked this one less. My cousin committed suicide early yesterday morning. I had to say that I was shocked. My mother was not. As a child, I remembered pitying him. My uncle had been married previously, and he was a product of that brief marriage. His mother did not want him -- completely rejected him. My aunt and uncle then had three children of their own. It's no wonder he never seemed to fit in. He was the "oldest" of all the grandchildren (when he was counted). All the pain finally caught up with him. He shot himself in the heart -- completing his heartbreak.

Where in the world is.............?

I've been travelling a bit. I've been having some tests done. Doctors and scenic views. Not exactly what I'd call compatible. It WAS relaxing to slip out of town to the mountains. I saw that Windfall show. It did not hold my interest, so I took a shower within five minutes of trying to watch it. Speaking of watching, I was at Blockbuster yesterday looking at movies. My favorite show, "Medium" is out on DVD. I thought about buying it, but I think I've seen every episode. I love watching movies, but I hate movie theaters now. They aren't very clean; people aren't very polite. Movie watching is a ritual with me. I am a blanket/afghan/coverup connoisseur. Depending on the temperature and my mood, I grab the right one. Have to have the RIGHT food too. If it is dinnertime, it's chicken wings, celery, bleu cheese and french fries! Popcorn (hot, fresh, NOT salty) right out of the microwave is excellent as our my own chocolate chip cookies! I can replay my favorite parts or things I miss. All from MY nice clean sofa. Take care.........I'm going to watch a MOVIE. AT HOME.