Almost gone........but not

I am sorry to keep you guys down. Today, I nearly lost my beloved Balto. The vet had recommended a good teeth cleaning for him to prevent infection. An infection would probably overload his poor overworked heart right now. So, he went into the vet's for cleaning. When they sedated him, his blood pressure began dropping and dropping. He almost died from the anesthesia. They were able to bring him back from being under. Tommorrow he has his EKG. They are not expecting a good report. Even the receptionists were crying because he's so sweet. He is in loving hands and care there. My heart tells me that he is not going to last very long. He has slept since he's been home. My tears are back. I thought I had accepted it but hearing that he almost died today brought the reality back to me. I love my Balto; he truly is a special dog. I am humbled by my love for him.

My precious boy

Here's my precious boy.........Bless his heart. Bless all of yours for praying for us. Your words and support mean more than I can ever tell you.

Sadness Continued

It's fairly unbelievable. I'm losing my dog. Now, I'm letting go of the man who has been in my life for a long time. It's far too personal to speak of here. Suffice it to say that he was his own undoing. I will be all right. I know I will.

Back.......and Sadness

I made it home safely and more on the trip later. Unfortunately, I received a call about my golden retriever. It was bad news. In a month, his heart is almost in complete failure. In a month, how can a sweet dog's heart rating go to the worst possible from the best? Has he had a heart murmur all his life? I didn't get home in time to get him so I was up and down all night. I begged my vet for an appointment this morning (Sat) and got the bad news. He's basically dying. He is the sweetest dog alive. It's so unfair. He is only eight years old and was diagnosed with epilepsy awhile ago. He takes phenobarbital twice a day. He got so much better when I got my little female Yorkie who played with him. He thinks he is her mother. I am beyond unhappy. I am so sad. I don't remember crying this much since my grandmother died. I took him straight from the vet to a doggie spa appointment and bought two new toys. He likes things with legs and arms. Octopus toys are his favorite. I found a purple one once. I think it was his favorite. My heart hurts like I have his murmur. I am just absolutely brokenhearted. One blessing is that he does not know he's sick. I just can't stop crying. He's more than a dog to me.

The Little Engine That Could

Remember this book? It was one of my favorites as a child. I used to repeat "I think I can, I think I can" as a child. Only now as an adult, I use "I KNOW I can." And I KNOW I can have a good time this Thanksgiving. I am going to visualize it like the Little Engine did. You all helped me with your words of wisdom! I am serious. Some of them made me stiffen up my backbone, some my heart, and some just made me laugh hard (LOL....kitchen fire).

The fact is, I am headed up to the mountains with the biggest pan of the BEST banana pudding and Black Russian chocolate cake any 25 people would ever want to eat! How on EARTH can I lose? So what if I have to make stinky broccoli? There's only one thing involved in steaming broccoli! And for anyone who doesn't like Sweet Potato Souffle'? Well, just let them taste my whipped - fluffy, light - seasoned just perfectly with all my secret ingredients! They'll BEG for my recipe (and probably steal IT too!) LOL........I am fortified! I WILL be ready (as soon as I get my jeans ready!)

And work? Yup, I've been working like a DEMON. But I am obviously not the one only. I reached everyone I was trying to reach yesterday! AND, best of all, my customer placed an ORDER yesterday. Thanks to all this activity, I will be finished the year with the one thing that was missing last year - a whole LOT of opportunities loaded in that funnel!

So........Happy Turkey Day all of you!

Good and Bad and Happy Thanksgiving Early

I confess. I am disappointed. I had hoped to take this week off to celebrate Thanksgiving without stress (or as much as possible). As I said, I'm in a sales career; and my customer depends on me. This time of year is their busiest. This time of year I want to be on vacation. The two don't mix well. After all year of badgering them for "salesy" things to do - pricing, proposing, etc., NOW is when they want everything TODAY. I thought I'd be able to wrap things up today, but I won't. I was up really late last night working. I could barely watch my favorite show Medium!

I am trying so hard to count my blessings! I have a job, a great job. My customer is sure showing my value now with all this work! I am reasonably healthy. There's alot to look forward to these holidays!

As you know, I have this big, family holiday get together this week that I am nervous about. The drama will definitely be in full force, and the last thing I want is stress and drama. One year I actually tried to hide out, and one family member sought me out and lectured me about not doing enough! It sure proves you can run but you can't hide. OK, now I am making myself laugh! The very idea that I am a grown up and HIDING! Maybe I should try it again this year? What are YOUR coping techniques in a high estrogen (sorry ladies, but in my situation, it's more the women) zone?

What did you say?

I had a very fast, fun vacation. I don't know what it is about blogging, but I found myself thinking at different points - I want to write about this and that. Maybe when we are so introspective to write about our lives - we begin truly noticing the world around us more. I'd like to think this is true as part of my windfall journey is to ensure I don't lose touch with reality. I digress.

After an interesting flight and a two hour drive with a bit of an unexpected detour i.e. LOST (not the TV show), my companion and I decided to check into our hotel and catch a movie. You may be wondering why a movie on vacation? Well, it was DARK folks. More about the movie later. After the movie, we were truly exhausted and wanted a decent hot meal. There was a local "fern bar restaurant" (Barney - remember him? - he has dubbed them that) meaning a Friday's, Applebee's, Chili's, etc. kind of place. It was fairly emptied out as we sank into a booth. We were SO tired and SO hungry, but my companion had some pretty strict dietary requirements (not on the menu). Our waiter visited us quickly taking our drink orders and bringing them rapidly. As we ordered, I was outlining our order and he said, "Yes, we can do that and that and that." I was so relieved and grateful after the long trip. In very short order (almost as fast as a drive through window), our food appeared hot and perfect. I said to him, "Wow, you are SUPER." He turned to me with a straight look on his face and said, "What did you say? " Taken aback, I repeated it rather tentatively. (Did I mention he was slightly gothically attired? A few chains, black black hair?) He stood rigidly and said, "No one has ever said that to me before." As we began to eat, I mused over that. Could that really be? Could no one have ever said "you are super" to that young man? He eagerly kept refilling our drinks, asking if he could do anything else to help us (without being too intrusive).

And then I did it. After he brought me the check, I tripled his tip and took the food receipt listing and flipped it over and wrote "Believe in yourself." You'll not believe this because I still can't believe it myself - I signed it WINDFALL WOMAN. My companion and I waited until he disappeared into the kitchen and RAN like heck to our rental car and raced away. I wondered what he thought as I lay in bed that night. I also wondered how many children and young people in this world never hear a word of praise or encouragement. I wonder if that's why our world is like it is. Do you remember to tell people thank you, tell them what is really in your heart that is special about him or her?

Home and Guess who I saw at the AIRPORT???

YEP......I saw the two on the left....Nancy Kerrigan and her husband, Jerry Solomon. She was right there ordering food behind me at Au Bon Pain. Not many people recognized her that I could tell. Her husband smiled at me. She did not. I was impressed by her carryon rolling luggage. It was dark green -- not the typical, cool black that EVERYONE has. It did not look new. Neither one of them looked very "windfallish" considering the fact that they must be rather well off -- to say the least. I'm glad to be home although I had a great time.

Leaving on a jet plane

I have to zip out of town for two days rather unexpectedly. I'll miss you all! Hold down the blogosphere while I'm away......

A Mother's Request

Friends, I rarely have two posts in one day. Tonight - it's important.
I am redirecting you today to someone's blog I admire greatly - Monica's Opinions. Monica's son, Josh, just got home from Iraq, and has not been feeling well. Monica's post for today is entitled "A Mother's Request." She is asking us to pray for her son for the next 24 - 48 hours. It would be wonderful if you could post your support for Joshua - but even better - pray for him. It costs nothing - only your time and your prayers. Thank you in advance.

I Want It That Way

Okay, fasten your seatbelts for a BIG smile. I was over visiting What Would Jesus Blog? and saw this precious link. By the way, this post is NOT about any religion except that of SMILING -- LAUGHING -- ALOT. I swear -- you will NOT regret seeing this.

Merry..........WHAT?

From yesterday's post, you know I am JUST wrapping my poor little brain around Thanksgiving. So.....imagine my surprise when I stopped into Border's today and heard ole Blue Eyes singing, "Oh by gosh by golly......it's time for mistletoe and holly..." I was like WHAT? Now lest you think I'm some sort of Grinch or Scrooge I am NOT. For one thing, my birthday is close to Christmas. I LOVE Christmas. It's the double dose of holidays. (Not to mention my stepmother is Jewish, so, in the spirit of diversity and acceptance, we celebrate Chanukah too!) Ah...the triple dose.

For some reason, I felt outraged that wreaths were up and I was hearing Christmas music! It's not even THANKSGIVING yet. I'm sure I'm wrong. Why don't I feel the Christmas spirit yet? Is something wrong with me?????

Gosh, I hope not......

Peace be with you

Thank you all for your tips on finding my ring. I DID find it in - of all places - my jewelry box! I was so very glad to see it. Well, it appears I'm headed to the Blue Ridge Mountains for Thanksgiving. I've not been there. We'll have a huge family gathering. I have to say that I don't usually like big family stuff -- especially on holidays. There's not a good track record of these things going smoothly without family drama. I hate arguing and unpleasantness. I grew up with it as a child, and it is has lasted all this time. Peace is a precious commodity, isn't it? It gives a whole new meaning when you go to church and turn to the person next to you and say "Peace be with you." It really is one of the most beautiful blessings you can give another person. My windfall has given me lots of peace in certain ways -- stability, safety, etc. But a material windfall can't give you peace. You have to find that for yourself. Peace be with you.

The Sound of Music

What does this image bring to your mind? I hear that soundtrack beginning, my heart soars. Without a doubt, it is my favorite movie of all time. As a little girl, I used to stand in my yard and pretend I was Julie Andrews/Maria Von Trapp. I would twirl just as she did at the start and sing and imagine those majestic mountains surrounding me.

I have a secret. I wear a ring Julie Andrews used to own. My mother found it at an estate sale with authentication papers. It is platinum band with seven tiny diamonds in a line. It is one of my most treasured material possessions. A few weeks ago, I lost it; and I was very very depressed. I rarely ever take it off. You probably know that Julie Andrews has lost that unbelievably gorgeous voice due to a surgical mishap to remove nodules on her vocal chords. I think it is one of the greatest personal tragedies -- for such a beautiful voice to be silenced. And yet, she has not been silenced. She continues to act in select movies and sing in a limited range. She has triumphed over her own personal adversity with dignity and grace. And that.....that is the standard I aspire to achieve.

In Honor of Veterans' Day

Please view this link if you never look at anything else in my blog.

Thank you to ALL the Veterans for everything you have done to keep the world safe and free.

You're heroes - each and every one.

http://www.clermontyellow.accountsupport.com/flash/UntilThen.swf

The Interruption of Everything

Oprah's show yesterday was centered around Terry McMillan and Johnathan Plummer. Don't know who they are? She's the author who based her book How Stella Got Her Groove Back in publishing the "intimate details of her own island romance with a man 23 years her junior." Basically, the 43-year-old Terry was on vacation in Jamaica met 20-year-old Jonathan Plummer. They experienced "five passion-filled days, the vacation ended and Terry flew back to California. " Not long thereafter, they were married. She makes millions on her book and movie. Doesn't this sound like a happy ending?

Ummm. Not quite. Johnathan finds out he is gay. They spar on dueling morning shows with the revelation. They divorce. They end up on Oprah talking about it. She's written a new book - The Interruption of Everything.

I have nothing against gay people. Really, as long as someone is not hurting anyone else (especially a child), I'm like "have at it." I could CARE less - paint yourself green if you want, worship trees, WHATEVER.....Don't expect ME to participate but knock yourself out!

BUT....if Windfall Woman ends up like Stella/Terry.......don't expect to see me on Oprah talking about it. I'll be in the fetal position in my bedroom with pints of Haagen Daaz beside me in my jammies.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

TOM CRUISE FIRES HIS SISTER!

Yesterday I did a doubletake as I saw this picture accompanying this headline. At first, I thought - oh Lord - NOW he's kissing his sister! After I got over the initial disgust and shock, I realized that this particular news service was posting this picture of Tom and KATIE along with the headline. You'd think by now I would recognize these two having been "graced" (said sarcastically) with pictures of the two of them plastered all over the place engaged in PDA. But no, the media AND Tom Cruise continue to amaze me -- and not in a good way. There was a resulting poll (I could not resist voting) as to whether a new publicist could "fix" Tom's image. 70% people said no. I was one of them. He just outright gives me the creeps now. If you REALLY want to ruin my day, throw a picture of Brat Pitt ("let me show no class and take provocative pictures with my purported lover right after my marriage breakup") and Angelina ("drink my blood") Jolie.

I went to Charm School when I was a teenger. Yup! I graduated too. I was also in a sorority where we had "Gracious Living" every Tuesday night. At the time, we made light fun of it -- learning to be "perfect ladies." But now, I think some of these folks in Hollywood would benefit from a little stint at Charm School, Gracious Living, SOMETHING to get them to BEHAVE.

Tom, Katie, Brat, Angelina - report immediately to TIME OUT. You're all GROUNDED.

From Walt

Dear Ms. [WFW],

I want to thank you for the Ephiphone Thunderbird IV bass guitar and the Rogue amplifier you got me for my birthday. At least I think it was you that did it. I didn't fall off the turnip truck. My dad told me that I wouldn't be getting a guitar because it was too expensive. I figure you heard me talking about my birthday in class and what I wanted. That is so cool Ms. XXX. I think you must do pretty well at your corporate job so I kinda put two and two together and think you are responsible. I sure do apreciate it. You shouldnt have done it. I've been playing it even though I don't know how. It's like the greatest present I've even gotten. Thanks again. I appreciate it.

Sincerely
Walt xxxx

Vote for Jodi - Coffee and Conversation Please!

Please vote here for my friend's, Jodi's blog for medical blog of the month. Jodi is the author of Coffee and Conversation in a Smoky Room. If you visit her blog, you will see in the description that she is a young widow with a beautiful little girl, Ari. Her adventures in her quest to become a pediatric nurse are really cool to follow. One of my favorite posts is about the psychological diagnoses of Winnie the Pooh and friends. Anyhow, please forgive my shameless solicitation; but Jodi is a very deserving lady!

By the way, Jodi does not know I am doing this. She's in second place right now. I am trying to surprise her. She deserves something really great to happen to her!

Happy Birthday Walt!

Today is Walt's birthday. I can barely sleep thinking of his reaction to his bass guitar, new case (on backorder), his amp and other stuff. Even though I won't be giving it to him - I am still excited. I won't see him until later. Poor guy doesn't get back from his camp interview until the afternoon. His parents are picking him up from the camp bus and immediately transporting him to practice with a running club he has joined. Remember his running? Well, he is running "State" next weekend. He is one heckuva guy and really deserves the special day headed his way.

I've been "blogged"

A few days ago, I was contacted by "The Diva Marketing Blog." We exchanged emails back and forth, and as a consequence, I had an email today entitled "you've been blogged!" I went to visit here. There was MY BLOG! Someone talking about MY BLOG. I was so excited. I felt famous!

By the way, thank you to my friend, David, for teaching me how to add links!

At the risk of sounding as though I am an emotional seesaw, I had a fantastic day in addition to the above recognition. Walt called me this afternoon rather panicked. He is off to an interview this weekend to be a Camp Counselor. Long story short, he needed another personal reference other than mine regarding his leadership skills. The teacher who promised him one left for the day without giving it to him. I calmed him a bit, gave him some advice, and he emailed me that he was able to gather his wits and asked another teacher. He's off to camp hopefully to be chosen! (I'll keep you posted.) By the way, Sunday is Walt's birthday. I had my attorney privately arrange for his parents to receive an electric bass guitar, amp, etc. to give to him for his birthday. The instructions were that these presents had to come from them along with lessons funded. I happened to overhear his birthday "wish" before class along with the comment that his parents would not be able to afford it. The windfall is handy for this kind of situation. Just like the gold coins the other night. By the way, I happened to be in the grocery store in the produce section and overheard some mothers talking about the gold coins. I stiffened....the mother said her kids were too young to remember which house gave out the bags! That's exactly what I was hoping would happen! I wish I could see Walt's eyes when he gets that guitar. I hope he'll be happy.

What IS a Windfall Lifestyle?

Yesterday I posted another of my poems. Yes, it was about me. Yes, it was pretty intense. Yes, it was pretty personal. Someone quite insightfully said, "this doesn't strike me as the windfall lifestyle." I have to say - I felt somewhat punched in the stomach at first. (Remember I wrote in "102 Things About Me" that I am very sensitive.) I began to reflect over the comment seriously. Am I living a windfall lifestyle? What IS a windfall lifestyle?

I started this blog after being fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of a tremendous, and I do mean TREMENDOUS windfall. You can't imagine how much paperwork was involved in the beginning - and all the stuff I hate. Accountants and attorneys! Now, I LIKE these PEOPLE but I hate what they do. Boy, do I hate paying taxes. I could so understand why Elvis' theory was just to give 50% of everything to the government so he would never get in trouble with taxes. I had to wait for all that dust to settle. I signed and signed and signed. Checks, checks, checks.

Of course, I set up some trust funds. I set up some "extra" retirement accounts. Set up some tax shelters. Then it was done. For awhile.

What have I done in the ensuing months? Paid off all my bills. Hired the landscaper for the yard (it's looking good but we are headed for winter). Hired a decorator for house. Bought a park bench bed and ummm returned it before it got here. I did buy a new car - a cute Highlander and it does have all the trimmings (I have a moon roof for the first time in my life)! I got my house professionally decorated for Halloween and gave out drinks AND candy and well, $10 gold coins. Because I don't HAVE to have my job, I have the peace of mind to tell my boss I went to Target before coming to work. LOL....more to come.

The Dark Side

She wonders how it came to this
Private things exposed, all amiss
The sacred, unpenetrable violated
Pride disintegrating fast, unabated
Aching, hurting, humbling
Take my pain, I'm crumbling

My Boss Held a Meeting But.......

Yesterday I was driving into the office when I happened to check my blackberry. Every Tuesday, my boss holds a team meeting (which is why I was going in). One of my compadres had sent an email cancelling the meeting. He is "acting" for our boss while he is on vacation this week. My first thought was darn, and I am all dressed up (hose, suit, heels). It occurred to me that I could run a few errands and still show my face, so I dropped by the dry cleaners and then made my "Target" run. I love Target at 8am. I can zip my cart through the aisles getting my stuff. Even with the windfall, I don't think I'll ever get over pinching pennies. Some people like Walmart; some like Target. Our Walmart is awful. It is in awful condition (they are remodeling it) and it always looks very disorganized. Our Target is sparkling and well stocked. Anyhow, why pay more when you don't have to.

A friend of mine borrowed my watch the other night because my watch matched her outfit better. I returned hers, but she didn't return mine. Lest you think we were exchanging Rolexes, we were not. They were Timexes! Anyhow, I had to have a watch and while I was disgruntled at having to buy a new watch -- it was a $35 Timex. Since I already have two black ones - running watches - I decided to get a brown one. This proved taxing for the Target folks at 8am to get in the "locked" jewelry thingies. Anyhow, I stood there thinking - the only place I have to go is the office. As I stood there, I suddenly remembered that our boss was not due to be out on Tuesday - he was supposed to be out Wed, Thurs and Fri. At any rate, I was too late to make it to any meeting now. I finished up my shopping and headed in the office.

My boss sits next to me, so when I saw him in there - I wasn't exactly surprised. I said, "I thought you going to be here. Did we have a meeting?" He said, "I don't know why he sent that email cancelling the meeting." He was very aggravated. I said, "I was headed here but got the message and decided to go to the cleaners and Target." LOL.....I didn't even hesitate to say that.

I headed to the restroom and my best girlfriend was right behind me. She was laughing so hard. She said she was in the office and kept walking by the conference room as our boss sat in there with no one there. She said she waved to him and kept walking back and forth. Finally, she said are you expecting people to show up for a meeting? He was upset and said yes! She told him about the email and he went ballistic!

LOL.......she and I were bent over LAUGHING. We could not stop. Poor man thought we had all just ignored his meeting! It was so funny! She said it was so funny listening to you - going on about the meeting being cancelled and you talking about your errands and Target! At that we burst into giggles again! Anyway, starting work with all those endorphins was BOUND to help me have a good day. I did!

P.S. I had a significant other who was determined to break my Timex habit. He bought me a Longines, Gucci, etc. watches. I always ended back up with my beloved Timex. I mean, can a Rolex have velcro and formfit to my wrist? Show the date AND the time? Plus, when I want to run splits around the office and time myself a Rolex can't do that. I need to buy some stock I think.

My Attempt at a Little "One UpWFWomanship"

OK, I hope I don't tarnish my halo (if I have one) with this entry. I have a close male friend at work who has a very talented significant other. She's ......... artistic. The ONE thing I am NOT. She sounds like woman of the year with her decorations and not only that -- she's EARLY with every darned holiday. Now, being competitive of spirit (just a tad), I feel grossly inadequate. So this year, I thought now I don't HAVE to feel inadequate. I'll just get some HELP. So, I have a friend newly in the design business, and HE (me helping a little) went mad decorating my house! It is/was a true Halloween house but I didn't scare a single little person. (I swear Snake....I didn't.)

Anyway, he put webbing all in my shrubbery with spiders -- little ones and big ones! I had ghosts hanging from all the branches in the trees and my driveway and sidewalk were lined with SAFE candle holders and candles. I had Halloween music that wasn't too SCREAMY but it was funny!

We offered all kinds of drinks loaded in HUGE black plastic cauldrons packed with ice. (Kids get thirsty running all around.) I had about five big baskets -- three FULL of the best candy -- all chocolate! And one with some diabetic candy and one with some NON chocolate candy. I was dressed as a friendly witch - of course! Complete with great witch shoes, gold buckles.

The final coup d'etat was a special basket with tiny canvas bags and orange and black ribbon tied tightly. They could not open it until they got home. When they got home, they would have a treat, because I put ten dollar gold coins (the ones with the Statue of Liberty) in them!

I wonder what they thought when they got home! It was fun imagining it!