Back.......and Sadness

I made it home safely and more on the trip later. Unfortunately, I received a call about my golden retriever. It was bad news. In a month, his heart is almost in complete failure. In a month, how can a sweet dog's heart rating go to the worst possible from the best? Has he had a heart murmur all his life? I didn't get home in time to get him so I was up and down all night. I begged my vet for an appointment this morning (Sat) and got the bad news. He's basically dying. He is the sweetest dog alive. It's so unfair. He is only eight years old and was diagnosed with epilepsy awhile ago. He takes phenobarbital twice a day. He got so much better when I got my little female Yorkie who played with him. He thinks he is her mother. I am beyond unhappy. I am so sad. I don't remember crying this much since my grandmother died. I took him straight from the vet to a doggie spa appointment and bought two new toys. He likes things with legs and arms. Octopus toys are his favorite. I found a purple one once. I think it was his favorite. My heart hurts like I have his murmur. I am just absolutely brokenhearted. One blessing is that he does not know he's sick. I just can't stop crying. He's more than a dog to me.