Stress, Work and Windfalls

Hey ya'll! I made it through the week. This time of year is pretty busy for me as I'm involved in several charitable organizations that have events during the Spring. One thing is that I coordinate the Girl Scout Leader/Daughter dinner this month for around 200 moms, daughters and leaders. Did I ever mention that I began my career as an event planner? I love planning parties. Speaking of parties, I had a rather impromptu one last night. I cooked a huge spot of spaghetti and had some special friends over. No, it wasn't homemade sauce either. I did try Ragu's new Traditional Organic sauce, and it was fantastic! It's not nearly as acidic and has a gentler flavor. Yesterday for lunch, I went to my second lunch with my former sorority sisters. My roommate from college was there, and she gave me the very nicest hug. I was so glad to see her! We sat outside away from the sun. It was quite lovely. Today I have to work on a "work project." And that brings me to so many of your comments talking about quitting work and windfalls. During that first "windfall week," I was pretty sure I was going to quit! Luckily, I have so many attorneys and doomsayers (not to say all attorneys are doomsayers) and accountants in my life that I was advised not to go public with the news. Once I saw the TAXES, I was shocked. My attorney and accountant sat down and had a heart to heart talk with me. "WFW," they said, "You've worked hard all your life - since you were 12. Do you REALLY think that you could quit now?" I pondered that. Encouraged by my lack of response, they went further. "You work from home; you don't have to get dressed and clock in. You're in the ultimate flexibility being in sales. You don't HAVE to travel much and where you do go is pretty interesting. You have lots of tenure so you have lots of vacation. AND, this year, you stand to make a half a million dollars." Good Lord! I realized everything they said was correct. What on earth am I going to do by myself during the day ALL the time? Besides, I am a people person. I love being alone, but I truly thrive on adrenaline, challenge and work. While I am still active, I want to make the most of it. So........that's the scoop!

Overwhelmed and Stressed.......

Here's my life right now. Why I haven't been posting regularly. Boiling pots all over the stove. Sometimes I feel as though I am so losing it. I am so way overcommitted. It's wrong. Life shouldn't be like this. Even without a windfall. I've got to divest myself of some of the responsibilities and pressures I am under right now. I am going to get through May (the worst month) and then I am going to choose very carefully my responsibilities and volunteerism in September. I will be assessing life. In the meantime, I begin my belly dancing lessons today. Maybe that will help.

Ugh.......The Doctor is IN!

My mother calls me yesterday. It is an emergency she says. She has been to the ER early Saturday morning for four hours. Her back is killing her. The dr thinks she has a pinched nerve. She goes for the followup today, and guess who takes her? I filled out all of her forms -- all 15.....in triplicate. They take xrays. She has arthritis in her back. I make a mental note to write a check to the Arthritis Foundation. He says arthritis wouldn't hurt this bad. She has to have an MRI. She asks if she has to drink alot of stuff. They say no. They told her what I knew. She has to stay in that tube for about 50 minutes. They gave her valium to take when she gets in there. I have really bad claustrophobia. I could never do it. It's weird. I had a dream this week. A dream that I was having to go through an enclosed tube. Spooky huh? I hate that feeling of being closed in. I don't care how bad my pain is.....no closed MRI for me. Please God.....don't test me on this. Please.

Emerging from the Cocoon

Hey y'all! I'm ok. A friend took this picture of me as I am emerging from a week of TRAINING. Oh God, training is so not fun. I was freed on Friday! We had a week of bad weather too. I've lost two of my phones (I prefer cordless) from lightning. My washing machine is broken (again), and I would LOVE ideas about what kind you would buy if you were getting a new one. Because I AM buying a new one. I want that dratted agitator gone, and I'm thinking of a front loader. I've been cleaning out my closet and Goodwilling it. I have things with TAGS on them -- brand new. Yes, I had SEVERAL windfall moments this week......and it was lots of fun and very rewarding. Very deserving recipients were awarded. I drove in bad weather alot which made me nervous. I'm not sleeping so well on account of all the training. I tend to dream about it. I hate that. I bought the First and Second Season of The Sopranos and I've finished the first season. I have to watch it with someone as I can't stomach violence and blood so I have to cover my eyes and have someone tell me when it's over. I had a friend over Friday night for a Sopranos party complete with all the wings you could eat, celery and bleu cheese, and the most delicious handmade fries! We drank gallons of coke and root beer. Poor guy had been sick all week so I just told him to come over and plop on my sofa. That was the most fun I had all week! Remember I told you I "invested" in gel nails? Well, they are beautiful.....but one broke on Wednesday and I had no time to get it fixed. Then another one broke right off in the middle of the night Saturday. Gosh did that hurt. No wonder the Russians used it for torture. Tylenol didn't even help. I have no washer, a half cleaned out closet, a pile of email work but I sure have some good looking nails. Hey and friends.......? I am really touched that you have written me and asked if I'm ok. Here's hugs to all of you. 'Cause I am......OK.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! Yesterday, as I was grocery shopping, I found some cute pink and white fuzzy bunny ears. I put them in my cart thinking I'd wear them around friends and family for a cute "in the spirit" sort of touch. Then I looked at those ears and thought how badly I wanted to wear them right now! So I did. In the grocery, out in the parking lot. That's when the magic happened. Of the adults in the grocery, most people didn't even "see" them. But in the parking lot, I was immediately spotted by a little girl who began waving at me. Her brother and sister soon joined in waving and they worked up the courage to shout, "Hi Easter Bunny!" Their mother (God bless her with three little ones under 5) was waving too. I called out, "I'll be hopping over to your house soon." I wore my ears almost all day. And I wonder -- how often do we look without really seeing?

Good Friday

For some of us (including me), it is Good Friday. To me, this is the solemnest day in Christianity. I love this painting above. I feel calm today. I feel His spirit and power within me today. Today, He's with me. And that is more than good enough for me. Peace be with you.

Get outta my way.....COOKIE CAKE!

Here's an update to Heartbreak Hotel and Belle. She did just fine at the party. It was really hard. HE had apparently told everyone about the breakup, because she hadn't. Belle said people were STARING at her as though watching for her to break down. Of course she didn't. Of course he tried to catch her eye. Of course she wouldn't look at him. Of course he asked FOUR of her friends to dance with him. Of course they DID. She asked one boy to dance, and he said, "Ok, sure." That was the only slow dance she danced. One boy kept staring so much that she said, "WHAT? What are you looking at?" One of her "old" friends rumored to be behind the breakup came over to "hug" her - of course. This fake hug attempt transpired as the cookie cake was being offered - of course. Belle ran her over and said, "COOKIE CAKE" in a funny voice in a pretended hurry to get to the cake - of course. She successfully avoided the fake hug - of course. All of her friends said he was crazy to break up with her - of course. They all said once he realized what he had done that he would try to get back with her - of course. She said she wouldn't go out with him again if he asked - OF COURSE. I think he's nuts - ABSOLUTELY OF COURSE.

Heartbreak Hotel

God bless my little friend Belle. Remember her? The little ballet dancer? She had a boyfriend - up until last night - that is. He called her and told her that "she is like a sister" to him and he "doesn't want to be her boyfriend anymore." She was sobbing as I talked to her. "Why are boys so stupid?" she said. Worst of all, she thinks he likes another girl -- one who is as mean as a snake -- and has been trying to take him away. Of course, it doesn't help to say, "If someone can get him, then he's not worth it." Poor little thing has to go to a huge party tonight where he is going to be too. If that little so-and-so gets with a "new girlfriend" tonight in Belle's face, I might just be waiting for him (in spirit that is). She's so sweet and innocent. It doesn't matter than she's young. It still hurts. Love hurts. I know. Sometimes I think I have a lease on a room at Heartbreak Hotel.

Car Update

Hey y'all. Because I have received lots of emails querying me about the accident, here is a short update. I talked to my insurance company at length. They have ASSURED me that the adjusters will be able to tell if there was prior damage to the car I allegedly bumped. I also took pictures of my car showing no damage. It turns out that the woman driving the car was Bruno's mother (allegedly). The woman was driving "the uncle's" car. An adjuster is going to look at the damage. I have not talked to anyone except my insurance company. I have to say that I smell a rat. I'll keep you posted. I'm not worrying about this for now. Not too much. Thanks for the advice, concern and hugs.

My New Venture

I am considering a new venture. Belly dancing. Shakira performed on American Idol the other night. I love her voice, and I LOVED her dancing. My high school Anthropology teacher took lessons. We all were amazed at her. It is supposed to be fantastic exercise. I want one of these costumes. I want to make those coins shake.

Marriage - Magic or Misery?

I have a very close friend who finally unloaded on me yesterday. She's married - and to my surprise - quite unhappily. "He's not the same man I married," she said. I married him because he took care of me (and I could take care of him) and he was so calm letting things roll off his back. Now he's an angry, anxious and depressed person all the time. Not only that - I'm his emotional punching bag. Well, of course, WFW being the excellent therapist client that I've been in my past, said, "What about therapy?" He won't go she said. We've been together, but our careers are too busy to sustain consistent visits. She went on to say that he doesn't open doors for her any more, he grumbles about the slightest thing he has to do for her.....then she topped it off with, "He doesn't realize it, but I WILL leave him if this doesn't change." I know these two; he doesn't see it coming. And their friends will be as astounded as I was when she confided in me.

I started thinking about it. Who do I know that is blissfully happy in marriage? You have to start by counting out anyone in Hollywood because they don't live in the real world. I am going to leave out politicians so there's no controversy. I started thinking about it -- how many couples do I know where marriage is magic? Unfortunately, in my sphere, I see much more misery.

I know one thing - I am glad as heck that I don't have THAT misery. Maybe I'll just make up a dummy man made wih various portions of the windfall. He won't be able to disappoint me then. Being made of windfall stuff, he'll be pretty magical, won't he?

Uh oh.......Tuesday Afternoon

Can you guess what happened to me yesterday? Yep. I was headed to an appointment and not even in a rush. I'm at a stop sign on a hill looking to turn right onto a busy road from a "not busy" one. The lady in front of me is turning right and takes off. I look to the left to see if the coast is clear. It is....I'm not even sure if I DO move but suddenly her car is in my front bumper. Not even a JOLT! Did she roll back? Why did she stop or not go? How could I not have even felt a bump? I get out. She's on the phone. I look at her car -- it is SMASHED IN! It's a red Ford Focus, and I drive a light colored vehicle. I have NO DAMAGE at all. No red paint. I ask her if she is all right. I ask her, "Have you had an accident before?" Because I know there is no way I've done that damage to her car. She says, "I speak little English." She says "Phone number." So I give her my business card with my insurance company and policy number on it. Suddenly, she takes off FAST after being on the phone. I don't have her name, her phone number. No police were contacted. I call my insurance company, and they tell me there is no need for a police report because the other person has left! I figure she has no drivers' license and/or no insurance and there may be an immigration issue. The day passes, and I hear nothing. On my cell phone last night, a message. A perfectly English speaking man says, "WFW.....my name is Bruno and you hit my mother's car yesterday. Please call me."

Headed toward the Pink

I am headed torward being back "in the pink." It is very cool here but sunny and pretty. I have had a busy morning at work. I have a very busy afternoon. Thanks for all of your support during my Monday funk. Last night, I was getting dinner around 7:30 (which is late for me); and I thought Daylight Savings Time is OBSCENE. I was really sleepy and tired yesterday morning as I was this morning. I can't focus on the piles and piles of laundry that needs to be done nor the grocery shopping nor my own room that needs decluttering. One thing at a time.......one thing at a time............stay in the pink.......stay in the pink........

Fighting off the Funk

It's been coming on me -- that emptiness and loneliness. I hate it. I've been around people, friends, family. Sometimes that isn't enough. Sometimes the loneliness deep down just creeps in, and I feel lonely to the bone. You can't hug bags of money. You can try it, but trust me, it does not hug back.

Girls' Night Out

Spring forward! I hate losing an hour of sleep. Hate it especially when I've been out past midnight (or past 1 a.m. new time). Four of us went out for dinner and a show last night. We had a fabulous time except that one of my friends kept bringing up a "bad" topic. I kept trying to divert the conversation but she kept bringing it up. It was the only thing that marred the evening. My goals for Sunday? Watch movies, do laundry and cook a fantastic dinner!

Friday at the Art Gallery

What a wonderful way to spend a Friday afternoon! My co-leader and I took our Cadette Girl Scout troop (all seven!) to our friend's art gallery. She gave them a mini art history lesson, talked to them about how to promote a business (i.e. art gallery), etc. She had even made them chocolate chip cookies! They really enjoyed themselves. I found myself wanting to sink into a chair in one of the rooms........look at the art, maybe drink a glass of wine ( I rarely drink) and just relax. The painting on the left was by the artist I liked the best. This artist paints nests and eggs. I love this. It is almost like the nest is outstretched toward God and heaven.